Today, before getting ready and taking Julia with to visit mom, dad called me. He said mom's doctor called him and said she has deteriorated: when he went to see her, she was lying on her bed and breathing heavily. She is really weak. According to how mom appears, the doctor is giving her between hours and a few days . . . although she could always have a nose-dive at any moment. All this may be true, but that doesn't dismiss the fact that God always has the last word.
Dad has to leave a load somewhere close by Miami. He's gonna pick one up for New Jersey and stop by here on Wednesday. Lord willing, he won't be too late.
If there is one thing I hate about dealing with cancer, it's the roller-coaster of emotions. One day, mom appears as though she were almost back to her normal self; the next, she looks like she's about to go any second. Our hopes and feelings are constantly played with and teased. Now I can say, I have experienced torture, for this is what dad and I are going through.
Oh God, please have mercy on us and work quickly! . . . but again, above all else, may Your will be done.
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